THE RULES - If You Wouldn`t Eat Soup Out Of Her Ass Then You`re Not A Fan Of Soup - University Comedy

 So every summer I got out west to Victoria, BC to work.

I work with people from all over the country (a couple hundred), and consequently we all stay in the same building when we are there (its much like a hotel).  Anyway the night started off pretty good, drinking, girls, and a dirty bar when if you wear a collared shirt and jeans you are over dressed.  You would be graced at the door with dirty cougars....no...they're not even cougars.  They are dirty 50ish year old toothless, women?, who smell like they've bathed in baby vomit.  Anyway, back to the story.  After getting shitfaced and going back to our "hotel" many of the people that were hanging out with us came in to a fellow greaser (humpty dumpty) and my room.  It was roughly around 4 and those that came to our room were going back to theirs.  My friend went into his room to pass out and left me in the same room with another one of our friends who was openly gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).  

Him and I were talking about some douches that we worked with, and how much we disliked them.  Then there was an awkward pause.

I was sitting in my computer chair and he comes over and lets out a sigh and gave me this weird smile.

"So, did you maybe want to do something?"

"What?"

"I dunno, no one will ever have to know....."

"WHAT!?"

"Come-on..."

I tried to give the appearance that I was calm about it, and not disturbed at all.  This dude knew that I love the vagina.  But what the hell was he talking about?

"Uhhh.... what do you mean man?"

"I need some one to screw me" 

Ok that was as much information that I needed.  Too weird.

"Ohhhh.....man..... Uh..... I'm not into that."  I tried to say without hurting his feelings.  Vulnerable gay dudes scare me.  The last thing I wanted was someone so see buddy who was openly gay run out of my room crying or ranting, or worst yet have the possibility of creating rumors. Fuck that.

"I mean I like you man, but I seriously couldn't do that.  I'm not gay."

Then he was visibly embarrassed, and I felt bad.

"don't worry man, I won't talk about this ever.  Lets just go on like this never happened."

And that's what I did......well I mean I told 2 or 10 people about it, and now there's this post.........meh

And the moral of the story?: Don't have drunk gay dudes in your room.