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The Cougar Guide

sandpaper's picture

sandpaper — Sat, 01/17/2009 - 16:21

 THE COUGAR

A cougar is an older female who hunts younger man prey.  These older women are looking a for one night stand from someone who is young enough to be their own child. They prowl at local bars where lighting is bad.  Their mantra: "can't rape the willing".

The Female Cougar

There are several key characteristics to identify a female cougar.

Hair:   The Cougar keeps up with current hair styles as a form of camouflage.  Where as the prey does not know they are engaged with a cougar until some deeds are done.

Blouse:   The Cougar displays maximum cleavage possible to captivate her prey.  If you are watching them bounce she's about to pounce.

Nails:   The Cougar has long, claw-like nails that are sharp to ward off other females.  These are normally painted a bright red, but the colour often varies depending on which province you are in.

Lips:  The Cougar has often thin somewhat wrinkly lips or large voluptuous lips (botox)  that are covered with thick lipstick, often the same colour as her nails.

Pants:   The Cougar is known to wear tight jeans, often hiked up high with her shirt tucked in.  It has also been noticed that they also wear out-dated skirts, ranging from tight brightly coloured, to a tweed like skirt.

Fingers:  Along with the above mentioned nails, Cougars have more than 2 rings on their fingers.  Of which, are normally gold (or cheap knockoffs) as well as some diamonds of sorts.

Scent:  The Cougar is knows to smell very heavily of perfume.  They can normally be smelt at distances of 5-10 metres away.

Feet:  In the summertime Cougars wear open-toed shoes to show off their brightly painted toenails (same colour as lips/finger nails).  In the winter they wear trendy boots, with some if not a lot of fur.

Cougar Q and A

Q: Is a Cougar a single woman over 30 years of age?

A: No.  See "The Age Gage" for your own situation.  Also  Cougars don't necessarily need to be single, why continue to have sex with the same old man when you could be having sex with someone half your age?

Q: Is a Cougar a woman who's 10 years older then you?

A: Maybe.  If you are 20 and she is 30 its borderline.  Check "The Age Gage"

 

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What about the manther, the

manther (not verified) — Wed, 01/28/2009 - 02:50

What about the manther, the man panther? The equivalent of the male cougar>?

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 I've heard about this

sandpaper — Thu, 02/05/2009 - 13:48

 I've heard about this "Manther" and to be honest I'm thinking I'm going to end up down that road.  Intentionally/Unintentionally.....doesn't matter.  We will have to get back to you on that.  In the mean time keep creepin' on those youngins sir.

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