THE RULES - If You Wouldn`t Eat Soup Out Of Her Ass Then You`re Not A Fan Of Soup - University Comedy

 So as many of you already know.  I may or may not have gone to Michigan State.  The following is one of the stories from my adventures.

So its friday.  I get off the plane in Detroit, and somehow find out where I'm supposed to go to rent a damn car.  I get to the Hurtz place, store, outlet what-the-fuck ever.  I'm pumped because when I booked a car on the internet I got to choose what I was getting. I chose the Mazda 6 Sport.  Sweet.  After trying to do the paperwork, and sweating my balls off because no one believed me that my PEI drivers license was a real license (Much less trying to convince them that PEI was an actual place......), I finally received a thumbs up letting me know that I was good to go.

"Sir, your vehicle is in parking space B3, and the keys are in the vehicle"  

"FINALLY!" I thought, excited to get that Mazda 6 and show those Americans how Canadians drive.  Upon sighting the little sign that read "B3", I looked at what I was going to be driving......

"No, it can't be" I thought to myself......A Toyota Rav 4.

"FUCK!" I definitely said outloud. "Well Kids, everyone pile in for soccer practice" I thought opening the door and climbing in.

After figuring out where the fuck everything was, I started my trek to East Lansing (a good hour drive away).  It took me a while with the windows up trying to get the fucking A/C to work, that up meant INCREASING the heat while down meant DECREASING the heat.  So after about 20min of sweating my balls off with the windows up, I figured out the up/down aspect of that stupid rig.

It didn't take me long to get to East Lansing, as being from PEI, and being on a 5 lane highway, I took advantage of the space, Feeling like I was on a highspeed chase on COPS, zipping through traffic in my soccermobile.  And refusing to abide by the 60 that was posted on the side of the road, I did the usual 110 that we use on our highways, ignoring the mph/kmh difference.

After getting to the outskirts of East Lansing, where I was met with traffic lights and actually had to slow down, I met my first American.  I was pulling up to a red light using the right lane, and he, driving a black JEEP with missing doors, pulled up to the same red light in the left lane.  I was listening to Daft Punk with the windows down, in a trance trying to figure out how much further straight I would have to drive before I needed to make a right hand turn.

"HEY!!!" This dirty american punkass yelled from his doorless JEEP

At first I didn't think that he was talking to me, because americans were known to be jackasses at most times and wouldn't talk to strangers

"HEY!!!" the dirty american punkass yelled again

I finally turned my head to him and turned down my Daft Punk. I gave him the upnod and waited to see what this rare friendly american had to say.

"WHY DON'T YOU PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND BUY AN AMERICAN CAR!!" the dirty american punkass yelled.

I was bewildered.  This statement caught me off guard, and I could only think of three things.

1) It was a rental.  I didn't buy it.

2) Why the fuck would I want to buy an american car? and

3) What am I driving anyway?

I glanced down at the steering wheel and saw the toyota symbol. 

"What is Toyota? Chinese? Japanese? Korean?" I thought to myself. Finally without thinking, I turned back to him.

"WING CHANG CHONG!" I yelled back at the dirty american punkass.

He looked confused. And I turned forward wondering what just came out of my mouth. Confused as well.  I glanced up and noticed the light turn green, and floored my soccermobile not wanting to have to meet up with that retard again to explain how i knew chinese.