Feces Fiesta
We are so mature that we have decided to devote an entire section devoted to poop. Enjoy!
The Four Shitty Times Of The Day
The day can be divided in four poop timelines. Actual times of poops depends on when you wake up from your hangover. For instance your monring may in fact be mid afternoon.
1. Morning schorning.
2. Lunch crunch
3. Eveneing Squeezing
4. Midnight Delight
The Beer Shit - You know you went out last night when you're poop out pure liquid beer slush. Makes your ass raw.
Shaking Like A Dog Shiting Razor Blades - Rough poop.
Stealth bomber -This celebrated, timeless, infallible art of taking stealth poops. Whether at the girlfriends house, public stinkhouse, or Uncle Eugene's wake, You are a feces ninja.
Wafting - Dispersing ones flagelents throughout the room in order to revolt your guests. See video below. Not as cool when a chick does it. blah.
We have also arrived at some great theories for knowing the status of your relationship involving farting and pooping.
1. You hide your farts - new relationship or one that is not working.
2. You let the odd one out - relationship is developing but is not strong.
3. You pass gas without thinking twice - strong relationship
4. You fart in the bed, pull the blankets over her head and yell dutch oven as she gasps for air - LOVE
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